That’s the PC way to say it, but I’m talking sex. Dance, like sexual urges, is an inherent part of being alive on this planet. And, I find the two directly related.
Specifically, the more I dance what is true and authentic about me, the more I love and enjoy my body, the more interested in and enjoyable sex is. My positive sexual experiences alone or with my partner are proportional to my dancing.
So, what’s the connection?
In my experience, there are 6 influential ways dance impacts my sex life.
Music: Let’s face it, contemporary music is most often about “love,” in one form or another: getting it, losing it, or wanting it. Since we generally want uplifting music to dance to, our selections are generally about wanting it and getting it. Our connection to music dripping with insinuations is bound to fuel our lust, or at least our imagination. Because music inspires movement, we may be compelled into a soft, sensual hip sway, or an energetic pelvic gyration. In either event, the intent of the music leads our response, and in being open to the song’s suggestion, we become an embodiment of that energy.
Energy: Different than the energy above, this is the vibrancy I feel through dance that resonates in my body for hours afterwards. Dance energizes me. It makes me feel virile, beautiful, strong, and optimistic. These qualities shine before me and dancers I know, making our presence visible to others. That’s attractive. Loving the world is beautiful.
Physiologically: When we circle our hips, pump our butt, thrust our pelvis, or shake our ass we encourage greater circulation to and strengthening of our pelvic floor muscles. These muscles support our internal organs: bladder, intestines, and uterus (in women). For women, these muscles help support a baby in utero and escort the baby out the birth canal when it’s time. In men, these muscles are important for the retention of semen for prolonging pleasure. Increased circulation and blood flow to muscles in the groin also help aging adults retain continence for urinary and sphincter control, a super-sexy trait if you ask me.
By the by, those same moves help maintain a flexible spine and strengthen our low back and muscles of our gluteus maximus, helpful for manifesting the horizontal expression of perpendicular dance moves.
In eastern philosophies, the root chakra is an energy center of the body located at the base of the spine, in the pelvis. It represents birth and primal energies, which is just a nice way of saying sex.
Confidence: When we move in a way that feels good, that respects what is unique and authentic about ourselves, we gain confidence to stand proudly as who we are. This confidence to embrace one’s self is sexy. Yes, it is.
Communication: Related to confidence is the acknowledgment of my body’s abilities and pleasures. This is nothing less than respect and reverence. When I respect and revere my body, I am a better sexual partner because I’ll only engage with someone who has equal or greater reverence for my body.
Part of this system of honoring ourselves through GROOVE is asking, “how does this feel?” and “how can I make this feel better?” Similarly with sex, the same questions can guide us to answers that we can finesse into greater pleasure. We can delicately explore creative options with “what would happen if…” and glide through the safe space created between lovers when we vulnerably express “I would like…”
Touch: As we grow up in this culture we gain a lot of baggage about our bodies. We are trained to hone in on all the things that should change about them. It’s a sick phenomenon (but, that’s another post). In the process of disowning and separating ourselves from our bodies, we often forget to touch them. Dancing can, if we allow it, bring us back to know the texture of the skin of our arms, abdomen, or neck. With a slight caress, or a sassy pose, we can play with tactile experience of falling back in love with ourselves. We can cultivate the worthiness in the love we seek from others by intimately and sensually touching ourselves. It’s not naughty. It’s your body, a true and beautiful form of life. It’s yours. It belongs to you, and it’s okay to touch it.